It's technically possible, I guess, to write a worse hurricane hed than this one. But why bother when the bar has been set so high?
Please don't do this. If you see a friend hunched over a computer and writing "Hello, Dolly," just go ahead and call the brain police.
Testy Copy Editors has hosted a long crusade against "Hello, Dalai," "Hello, Dali" and the like, and colleagues there have already sighted "Hello, Dolly" in newspaper storm coverage. In that spirit, what can we add but: No more "Hello," or ... got it?